


Babysitting Duty

by conceptstage



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 22:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16376219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Beau and Caleb and a tiefling baby.





	Babysitting Duty

“Beau, this shouldn’t be this difficult. We’re just getting her dressed.” He shifted his little green tiefling niece up higher on his hip. “Just pick something.”

“All of these baby clothes have sleeves.”

“You’re not the one wearing them. Sunny doesn’t have your aversion to sleeves.”

Beau frowned at him and pulled a blue shirt violently off its hanger. “Not yet,” she mumbled, looking around subtly to see if she could see any shears sitting around. If she went looking for them, Caleb would probably try to stop her, but if she could cut the sleeves off before he noticed… “Here,” she said, waving the shirt at him.

“She’s a baby, she’ll get cold with no sleeves.”

“Fine, fine, I’m not arguing anymore.” She stood by, mostly silent, while he finished getting the girl dressed. Sunny watched her with wide blue eyes and smiled giddily as she chewed on her claw (still blunt as a baby, but a claw nonetheless). Even Beau couldn’t keep the sour look on her face after seeing that smile, but quickly turned her face down into a scowl when Caleb looked at her. “It’s my turn to hold her.”

Caleb nodded and acquiesced the child, smiling a little when Beau’s face lit up. “Don’t drop her.”

Beau glared at him and punched his shoulder. “Don’t be a dick. I have never dropped her.” She smoothed the girl’s curly black hair out of her face. She had so much hair, she’d been born with almost a full head of it. “Uncle Caleb is being a dick, isn’t that right?”

“Don’t curse in front of her either.”

“She’s a year old, she’s not going to repeat it.”

“The first time she says fuck, Jester is going to kill you, and I am going to laugh.”

Beau rolled her eyes and started out of the bedroom with Caleb following behind. “How did I get roped into babysitting duty with you?”

“You didn’t. You volunteered. You said, and I have an eidetic memory so this is an exact quote, ‘Fuck you Caleb, I’m her aunt, I haven’t seen her in two days, it’s my fucking turn’. End quote. Feel free to leave if you want.”

“I would, but I can’t find her diaper bag.”

“That’s kidnapping. I meant leave without the baby.”

The monk huffed and sat next to him on the sofa, bouncing Sunny on her knee. “Well, she likes me better, anyway.” Caleb wanted to argue with that, but honestly couldn’t. Logically, he knew that the baby was too young and barely had any object permanence at this point, she probably didn’t know the two of them from any stranger on the street. But there was something about Beau that she really liked. She was always better behaved in Beau’s arms than in Caleb’s. He watched Beau lean back against the sofa and pull Sunny up to sit on her chest. “She’s so little,” she mumbled after a few minutes of silence, startling Caleb out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” he said, reaching over the let the baby grab his finger. She babbled at him and brought his finger up to her mouth to gum at it. “ _ Nein _ , that’s dirty,” he said, though he was much cleaner than it used to be. Being around the baby so much he’d started making sure he wasn’t covered with a layer of dirt anymore. “You ever think of having one?” he asked conversationally.

Beau snorted dismissively. “Me, are you kidding? Fuck no. And don’t give me that ‘you’ll change your mind’ bullshit. I hear that all the time. I like hanging out with this baby, but having or even adopting one… I don’t know. I’m just not into it.”

“I figured. You’re not exactly the maternal type.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?”

“It wasn’t an insult, just an observation.”

She still scowled at him but didn’t respond. “What about you? Ever wanted a family?”

“At one time,  _ ja _ , I did. I had a plan. I was going to be a teacher at the academy, I was going to be a loving husband, a supportive father. But after all… everything… I don’t think it’ll ever happen for me.”

Beau nodded. “Probably not,” she agreed. “The husband thing could still happen, I guess, loads of people are getting married at your age. But you’re a little old to be a father.”

“Beau, just how old do you think I am?”

“Sixty?”

“I am not even forty yet.”

She shrugged and then winced when Sunny whacked her with her little hand, wet with saliva. “Whatever. Then you have plenty of time.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and couldn’t hold back a little smile. “I see what you did there.”

She didn’t even look at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh.” They were quiet again for a few minutes. “We’ve known each other for how many years now? And you still don’t know how old I am?”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, fucking spoilsport, I’m messing with you. I know how old you are, I’m the one who counted out the candles for your birthday cake last year.”

“There were fifty candles on my cake.”

“I know.” Sunny started to cry, first softly and then steadily louder. Beau sat up and winced at the smell filling the room. “Ooh, diaper change time. Here you go, babysitter,” she said, handing her off to Caleb with a wry grin. 

Caleb rolled his eyes but stood and took the baby from her. “Some aunt you are.”

“I am the spoiling her rotten kind of aunt, not the diaper changing kind. This is why Fjord asked you to babysit and not me.” She reclined on the sofa, putting her feet in the seat he’d been sitting in. “See, this is why I couldn’t be a mom. Bring her back to me when you’re done, I still need bonding time.” Caleb playfully hit her foot and then walked back into the bedroom.


End file.
